I'm a monk

I've been sitting here seven months now alone. Some guys would be drunk. I'm not good at drinking. It makes me puke, I have bad hangovers and sometimes I black out. I don't want to criticize my ex too much but I have some things I have to say. I was in the hospital and the nurse came to check on me every hour at night. I was paranoid so I set some cups by the door to fall over when they opened it. I was lonely so I grabbed my pillow and held it like someone was laying next to me. The nurse kept opening the door and knocking the cups over and waking me up. She opened the door one time and said "I always fall for your booby traps". When I was married for 23 years my wife wouldn't let me hold her at night. I'd put my arm over her and she would almost yell "you're on top of me.". I tried to talk to her about how I felt but it was hard. I wanted to look in her eyes and show her how I felt. She had a lazy eye. My grandma had a crooked eye.  I never met my grandpa . I heard he killed himself.  I knew I wanted a woman to hold. There was only one other girl that I actually slept with. As in it's bed time let's go to sleep. One night stands don't count. I remember that girls eyes. They could smile. I didn't have much sex when I was married. That other girl fucked like a porn star. So I thought of this other girl while I was in my bad marriage. I wasn't a virgin but up until then sex was, Put it in, go as long  as you can and it's over. I won't describe the sex but it was pornographic. So now I'm getting divorced and I find that my ex is single. I hadn't talked to her or looked at her facebook until then. I admit I had googled her. I was married and I felt guilty about that. I knew where she worked and I avoided those places. I saw her all over town while I was married (or I thought I did) but couldn't talk to her. So after the breakup I send her a message on facebook but she wont reply. I'm trying to figure out why but she keeps posting meme images. One of them says. "You mistook my silence for a no". I posted 9 times so far no reply. I suspect that she might be a cold bitch but I still want her.  She used to have a hot temper but that's cold. You are probably flattered by my post. Maybe I still have a chance. I don't know if these videos are good or not. If something doesn't look right it's not my fault.

An addiction? One you can't get rid of.

I've lost several friends myself. I'm a loner and I don't make friends easy. Sebastian Bach was on trailer park boys so he has some friends. I like my electronics so I don't smoke weed any more. It's bad for your math skills and you need your short term memory to keep track of all your parts and tools. When I watch trailer park boys it makes my swearing habit worse. They remind me of the three stooges.

When the mother ship gets her line up. I thought feminazi was a joke. Make your master race with limp dicks.

I hope you enjoy the post It seems obvious and cliche to me but I did it anyway.