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Showing posts from March, 2018

Targeted individuals

I have found many people online who are having similar experiences.Some of their experiences and explanations are different than mine. I found a man named Scott Snitzer on youtube who describes similar experiences and gives a lot of thoughts on what is happening and what to do. If he is a real person... This fear is based in the core of your brain(i wont bother googling the technical terms). The reptilian brain. If you think about an emotional response to a fight, you have fear on one end. If you are afraid you can panic. You can react spontaneously with physical force or try to run. Fight or flight. Your thoughts will tend to be paranoid. On the other end of the spectrum you have rage and anger. you assert yourself, your thoughs tend to be critical.It's hard to go from fear to anger. They are on the same spectrum. If you have ever had very many dogs you might have noticed something. If you get a dogs attention and repeat the phrase SSSSSSSSSIC they have a response to it. Some p

An attack?

So I have been posting a lot about politics lately and I want to blog what happened to me today. Like I was saying I had a bad day and I like to express my political business. I'm not a communist but I don't say this to impress anyone. If I was a communist I should be able to say so and not be punished for it. we can have a discussion. Sometimes when I express my opinion I find things on the internet that will later jump out at me as threats. Nobody replies or argues. I just see something on the internet on one of the sites I visit that I interpret as a threat to me. That they know something about me and they are going to punish me or shame me. I felt this today for about 45 minutes. I'm saying it was coming from the computer but I'm not sure. I don't think it was psychological. People on the internet don't always express themselves well and their meaning is ambiguous. If I am thinking something that lines up with their post it might cause  me to worry. This is

dejavu?

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Have I posted this already?

Hackaday

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Hackaday is a cover for a surveillance program of some type, they have every article you need and they monitor who is viewing what. Probably track your searches too.Just so you know if you do a web search about how to build something, you might as well open source everything down to your napkin drawings. Take it any way you want. People used to get paid for their ideas. They get paid for all ideas now. They are harvesting your ideas. It is a new technocratic caste system. If you are not with them you are a slave. I'll take right over wrong, that's my choice. Now and forever, don't bother asking again! Edit: I have more to say. Please try to follow this train of thought. I was listening to the embedded podcast. We have to realize that there is a circle of collaborators who are acting as the representatives of open source hardware. They seem to be promoting similar ideals. I'm not being critical. it's just a fact. I enjoy the podcast anyway but I notice the si

still okay

I guess I'm making a blog about my "condition" so I will add this update. 2 months have passed. I have more energy physically,I'm not achy all over like I was. I'm a little moody but I am trying to deal with that. Conditions in my house have not been cooperating with my efforts. I have been trying herbs. Passion flower tea seems to have no calming affect so far.I will try making stronger tea. I drank skullcap tea last night and it took me about half as long as usual to fall asleep. That could just be a coincidence. I'll try it again tonight. I also have lemon balm and lavender but I've tried them already and didn't notice much difference. I'm using an amino acid called tyrosine. I thought it might be a good thing to try. I just get a lot of mental and physical energy. I would describe it sort of like the feeling that you are moving when you are not. Like a vibration. This time I feel different than before. I hope I don't have any

Bad day

So maybe my childhood was not so great.We were the poorest people I knew. I remember going several days with nothing to eat on more than on occasion. I started doing drugs at 14. Forget the details.None of that bothers me. When I went to work for myself I could finally get away from poverty, right. Well, unless someone rigged the system. Guess what? Someone rigged the system. I was probably supposed to end up in prison but I didn't. So now I'm pissed and they want to get rid of me so they decide I have mental illness. I must have committed the unforgivable sin. I'm getting old and I won't go peacefully. I will try to fix the problem and yes I want happiness for myself. Like I said I was happy when I finally could be self sufficient.Then I discovered that was the limit to what I could do is survive. I was willing to work hard and that is all they wanted out of me. Do not make me list all the scams and the rigged hiring practices etc.. I'm tired of repeating mys

Fuck you.

So I thought I would let everyone know that my life is falling apart. The tiny spot I made for myself is disappearing. If you thought I had it too easy I guess your wish will be granted soon because things are going to get harder.I know you think I should blame myself but you probably know that I don't. I don't want to argue because I haven't got anything to say to you. I tried every day to love you but I can't because you are unworthy and now I hate you. P.S. I'm not crazy you are.

Doing fine

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I had an idea and I got excited about it. Music makes me feel good again. Believe it or not I don't think it has completely worn off. I hope it didn't do anything permanent. What if someone could catch a psychological or neurological disorder from their electronic devices? Wouldn't that make the world interesting?Maybe hotel California would have been more appropriate. Mirrors on the ceiling The pink champagne on ice And she said "We are all just prisoners here, of our own device" And in the master's chambers They gathered for the feast They stab it with their steely knives But they just can't kill the beast Last thing I remember I was running for the door I had to find the passage back to the place I was before "Relax, " said the night man "We are programmed to receive You can check-out any time you like But you can never leave!"