The world ended

While you go through your day pretending you can still be normal knowing people are trying to kill you, who is watching your children? If you get sick I guess you will be blaming your wheat gluten. I've been here alone 7 months now. I'm everything you say you want but nobody wants me. If anyone cared about me they wouldn't bother even going to work before checking to make sure I'm okay. That's what you do when someone you care about needs help, right? Maybe you're waiting for something like I am. You will never be able to make up for this. I see now like my whole life was a setup. All the struggles and pain.

I have some tips for meditation. When you have aches in your body that cause you to lose focus try this recipe

About 1/4 cup rubbing alcohol
About 1/4 tspn cayenne pepper
About ten drops wintergreen oil

This makes a rubbing compound that works really quick. If you have a stopped up nose rub  some peppermint oil under your nose. A lot of meditation for me is not set rules. You find what works for you at the time. Maybe it doesn't work later and maybe it doesn't work for someone else. I don't minds sharing my secrets. If you agree with me you won't harm me.

\

I thought this song was most appropriate. Something is up with youtube. The introduction on the lyric videos were screwed up. I think you can figure out what I mean to say.


Also. I can't do the lotus position. Any position with the legs level with the base of the spice works good for me. Laying down doesn't work. Sitting with my feet dangling doesn't work. Crossed legs hurts because my ankle is under my knee. I put one foot in the back of the othe knee and cross my legs and that is my best position.

I have to add one more crazy thing. I keep hearing birds outside but they are never in the field they are always right next to the house.