Free speech

 Everywhere I go there are gatekeepers. like I have to be qualified to even speak. I believe some of them are hired by the government. The internet used to be mostly anonymous. now you have to worry if your boss or your landlord or your family would approve of your opinion. even on the internet there are people who seem to be trying to stop me from speaking. even when I am not trying to say anything controversial.  music

 I've been so alone that I prayed for people to understand me. I believe that is why I have what some people call the delusion of thought broadcasting. Maybe I'm not the only one who believes that other people feel your emotions or even think the same thoughts. even while under this belief I don't think i was understood. I'm on medication now but my time unmedicated was like a spiritual experience. my thinking and senses may be dulled but I still believe in my experience. Even if people could share the same thoughts they could never understand me. I am here on my blog where probably nobody will read. I don't believe in social media popularity contest brainwashing. the music still seems to understand me sometimes. It has a spiritual quality. my opinions are not responsible for your actions. other people however, are influencing your actions. I will sit here alone and pray for people to understand

 back on my medication. I feel like I've lost my rhythm. Like I'm trapped. I'm being psychologically harassed online. Gaslighted. It has got to be the government at the root of it. They want me to think it's not but that is the only capable entity. It's 2024 and I'm still waiting for the fall. I'm embarrassed by some of what I said but that doesn't make it less true. Nobody discusses anything they just argue.I've always been looking for honest discussion but they want to shut me up.I can admit when I'm wrong. Maybe the people's car wasn't such a great invention. Just a catchphrase.whatever. I know people who like to be able to fix things. I think we are in a technological trap.the utopia we wanted was bait. it's too late now to fix the media. I know people want to punish me for speaking against the society that they benefit from. first you laugh.blah blah blah ...then you agree. I said those things out of love. I'm unfairly reject...

the media is afraid people will use their 3d printers to print guns. in the old days people went to the hardware store and made zip guns. a piece of pipe that holds the right size ammunition with a spring and a hammer. i was sharing my ideas online and people were brushing me off like they wanted me to shut up. Chris Gammel had an idea about a chip printer that some people might have thought was ridiculous but I encouraged him. not directly but i did make comments somewhere about it. last night I was thinking about it. I made that projector that Dave Jones helped me figure out by explaining how an lcd works. so I was wondering if it could be used for lithography. I wanted to use it to expose circuitboards at the time. I almost had the idea then. they use lithography for integrated circuits too. then i was thinking about it. a copy machine uses a selenium drum. when the light hits the drum it creates a static charge that holds the toner on. then I remembered the graphene guy who made su...

news flash the united states has fallen. they have deliberately sabotaged my life. it looks widespread. alex jones has the keys to mkultra. mitch mcconnell has all the gold. antiracist racists are the most racist racists of all. there was a conspiracy against Seinfeld. party line voting. get your trophies the ladies love trophies.they all went to jail in the last episode. they fly the rainbow flag at the church that has the daycare for the single women. the united states is not a capitalist country. they won't give me ebt because they say I received social security . I thought my social security stopped a year ago. social security won't send me a verification. the phone won't dial long distance to my bank. I'm going to play. I know I'm waisting my time online.

I'm still alive. all the way back in california now. over 1400 miles walking. there isn't really anywhere I want to stay here. I can't get my id . I barely get enough to survive. i haven't found anyone I can talk to. I can't build anything unless I find junk parts. I've been walking in the rain and trying to stay dry enough not to freeze a night. I carry 3 blankets to stay warm on my bike I found on the highway. I'm still trying to build stuff. I'm pretty sure I can convert my bike to electric. I looking up that bible verse. i want to find out what it meant. it's pretty short for a death sentence. there is no definition of what a witch is. I think that maybe it says a person who suffers can become a witch. I think that I have to wait till spring to decide if I can move to another state. I stayed in california last winter and I'm far enough south now that I think I won't freeze. the drive to california I remember long stretches of highway with...

i went to the canadian border and tried to get in . they refused to let me in at the border. later I found out that they don't accept refugees from the usa. I left the border walking back. made a left at the first road. made another left at the next road. I found out there was a ditch separating the us from canada. I pulled my gear right across the border. I was there 2 days. The police stopped me and I gave them a fake name. I got arrested. somehow they found out who i was and knew i tried to cross the border. my mother ratted me out. the judge said i would stay in jail and my case would be reviewed in 7 days. i got in the van to leave the courthouse and drove me to the border and let me out. the kept all my gear and gave me back the wet clothes I had on. walking back the way I came now.